Woman in late 60s seeks clarity on her situationship with man she likes
A divorced woman in her late 60s describes her three-month relationship with a man living an hour away and expresses fear that stating her needs will cause him to leave.
Current relationship dynamics described by reader
The couple has been seeing each other on weekends for three months. The woman states that contact between visits is sporadic and usually initiated by her. She believes the man likes her but feels she is receiving only casual attention.
Fear of losing partner if needs are voiced
She told him she wanted to spend more time together before deciding to ease off. The woman worries that stating what she needs will make him run away. She notes it is difficult for her to meet men at her age.
Advice on expressing desires in relationships
The columnist suggests that feeling unable to speak wants adds to the sense they are scary. She argues that pre-emptively hiding desires makes them seem more overwhelming to other people. The writer claims that keeping silent about needs does not protect a relationship from ending.
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